Friday, March 4, 2016

The Day I "Opened" my eyes!!

As I stated previously I would be posting some of the things I've shared on social media. This happens to be one of my favorite shares, because I learned so much and conquered more than the fear of height. It's one of my "40 New Things" I did during my 40th birthday year. Once I get this mini slideshow converted I will post but for now....I hope I'm able to bring you into my moment of "actualization" as Kurt Goldstein may put it......(Side note: My main picture is from this trip I'm talking about and of course my favorite shot of me owning my line)
God Blessed me Greatly with having some of the BEST fun EVER in Punta Cana!!! I still have 10 things left to do in my quest to do 40 NEW Things celebrating my 40th year! One thing I'm MOST proud of is Conquering "fear" and going Zip Lining!!! I was so "ready" in my mind but when I got up there and they told me it was 12 Lines to do and the longest line was 800 meters AND I would be going across a river and over trees.....all that "readiness" sort of oozed out of me....I watched a LONG line of people go before me even kids(yeah like little kids too could have been a midget tho), but when my time came I damn near passed out! The guide tried soothing me but I wasn't NO GOOD!! I felt a panic attack coming and I damn near cried......ok I did cry a little but it got real up there in the mountains this wasn't no damn Disney ride!! It's all shuck and jive until you get to that ledge look down and then Alllllllllllll the way across and then at the little bitty a$$ line that's "suppose" to carry yo big butt to the other side.....I know I one was forcing me. I looked at it like this.....My whole life was like this zip line. I allowed self to talk me out of doing things I really wanted to do because I either allowed fear to enter in or overthinking! The guide said "I've been where you've been! On my first time out I was so afraid too, but I promise after you go you won't be afraid anymore" he then asked me was I ready? I told Jesus I Love you and then shook my head yes.....he was RIGHT! After the third line I was damn near joggin up the mountain to get to the next line. I got to line #11 and I said to the guide "I Got this one and then the LONGEST line to do!!" He looked at me and said "No! Senorita...dis is de longest line!" Fear came right BACK and sat down for "dinner". Nervousness and irritation washed over me because he knew damn well he didn't have to tell me that was the longest line!! Now on the longest line you have to do two hands on the harness, which means there is no holding the line whatsoever *insert Hell NAW face* ....which means NO Brakes *insert You Got to be Kidding me face* and NO added "security" *insert Why am I doing this again* face.

So the guide said "Don't forget you control your ride" and with that he pushed me off and there I went! Yikes!!  When I turned 40 I told myself I was going to enjoy living more and care LESS about things/people that don't matter. I no longer wanted to take for granted the days God gave during the 800 meters ride, I did something I didn't do on the other 10 lines......I really just enjoyed the ride, I looked around, appreciated the view, looked down at the river but when the wind blew my body to the side instead of panicking I remembered the guide telling me, that I controlled my like MY Life I took control of my ride! ;o) Line #12 was a cake walk.....I don't know why this became sort of a metaphor for the new stage of my life but it did and I appreciate how God gave me that because it encouraged me to continue to do what He's allowed me to do and that's really to just Enjoy Living! I had an AWESOME time in Punta Cana!