I Got Married and Moved to California!!

Life comes at you fast even when you plan the events! Let me share just how overwhelming my 2021 has been due to multiple major life changes. Ok in May 2021 the twins graduated high school making me an empty nester. I really didn't have time to feel my feelings about that because later in that same month I graduated with my Master's degree. It was an exciting month and we celebrated the accomplishments together. To be honest there wasn't any time to be sad about an empty house because I was in the middle of putting the finishing touches on my destination wedding. There was also the added stress of relocating to California. My future husband and I spent a lot of time working on the logistics of relocating that our focus was prioritized by dates. Labor day was the set weekend to leave Nebraska and the second weekend in November was our wedding date/trip!! 

We had a wonderful experience with our 43 guest that joined us and help made our day a joyous memory! Our time on the island was exquisite and filled with laughter. God blessed us with His seal of approval, I shared a shot of an amazing rainbow that appeared over our wedding structure. I did love every moment of our special day and happy to share a few shots from our stunning island wedding destination. 

Here's a great shot by the photographer capture before the moment my groom turned around to see me:

This is one of my FAVORITE shots of us and the Kids!! Ya'll see how much my kids have grown: 

This is a shot from a different angle the photographer suggested:

This is US seated at our table for the reception!

Ya'll ain't about to tell me that's not a Money shot!!

How gorgeous are these grounds

We spent an entire day on a beach side cabana and took in every moment: 

This selfie we took the moment after we said I do! 

 I will never forget how happy and giddy we were in this room after our nuptial. We made sure to sit in our moment and take the time to love GOD for all that He provided. All of our dreams and prayers have been answered. He's protected our love and covered our relationship. Unsolicited advice alert: Go live the life you want....don't allow society or people to tell you how to live YOUR life!

Live Free and Be Courageous!!

One Word Theme – FOCUS

2019 brings in another opportunity to either readjust or start a new path. We don’t necessarily have to wait for the New Year to begin anew, because every day we are given brand new mercies to start again. I love the idea of starting each year off with a motivating word that sparks the inner flame and propels me into action. I believe that it is equally important to use a one word theme as the central point to draw from it helps encourage me to remain diligent on the course of self-improvement, enlightenment and living my best life.

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks” – Winston Churchill. Thus my one word theme this year is FOCUS! If there is ever a time in my life that I need to readjust and realign my thoughts on my goals it’s now. I took the time to “Embrace” all that was coming my way in 2017 and in 2018 I was sure to “Celebrate” all of those accomplishments. This year I begin the third stage in my five stage long term goals and it requires my complete focus. I anticipate distractions, hell I’ve had several while writing these short paragraphs however I refuse to allow every distraction to hinder my progression. If I am aiming to achieve what I've set before me then not every "dog that barks" will be worth my time.   

My main focus is to remain focus on the objectives I created and formatting a strategy on obtaining them. I know that staying focus can be tough with the constant distractions and nuances each day presents. I, personally had to train myself not to reach for my phone in the mornings, but intentionally say a prayer or words of affirmation. That change has assisted me in setting the pace to a positive start to my day. My definition of being successful is accomplishing the goals I set for myself and that can only be done through dedication and concentration.

Practicing mindfulness has helped me to improve in multiple areas, such as controlling my emotions, calming down and being present. Mindfulness is about focus and training your cognitive abilities to be present in the moment. So much of what we encounter can be a deterrent that if one isn’t careful can easily be lead astray. I’m currently nurturing a positive space and that alone is compelling me to concentrate my focus this year on continued personal growth. I was reading an article titled “Improve Your Concentration” by the mind tools content team, in early 2018, the article was so helpful, I saved it. Here is an excerpt I thought could be useful:

Follow some of these guidelines to help focus your mind:

·        Set aside time to deal with worries – Many of us have trouble concentrating during the day because we're constantly worrying about other things. It could be an approaching deadline for a project you haven't started, a new colleague who's causing problems, or just the amount of work on your desk. If you find yourself distracted by worries, then note these down so that you don't need to hold them in your mind. Then schedule time to deal with these issues.

·        Focus on one task at a time – It can be much harder to focus if you take minibreaks (15–30 seconds) to answer emails, send text messages, or take quick phone calls. Some researchers believe that it can take up to 15 minutes for us to regain complete focus after a distraction.

·        Close your email inbox and chat program – Let your voicemail do its job. If your office allows it, close your office door or put up a "Do Not Disturb" sign to let colleagues know you need to focus. (If you're a manager and you want to operate an open door policy, then consider working from home or from elsewhere for times when you need to focus.)

·        Switch between high- and low-attention tasks – This can give your brain a rest after heavy concentration. For instance, if you spend two hours working on your department's budget, you'll probably feel tired afterward. You can recharge your energy by working on a low-attention task, like filing, for 15 minutes before going back to your budget.

·        Prioritize – Having too much to do can be distracting, and this sometime causes procrastination. Or, you may quickly jump from task to task, creating the illusion of work – but in reality, you're not accomplishing very much. If you're not sure which tasks to start or which are most important, take 10 or 15 minutes to prioritize your To-Do List. Our article Overcoming Procrastination can also help.

I thought why reinvent the wheel, when I can just share good advice that I've used and rendered good results. The article is filled with more constructive tips, if you are interested in the entire article the link is below. I’m sending out positive energy to everyone reading this because I want you to go out and live your life on your terms! Be Courageous!! Live Free and FOCUS on being a better YOU!!!

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_78.htm

Twins Series: Summer Reading Review

I haven’t given an update on the summer book series that I planned for my twin sons. I also read the books (or already have) so that I can schedule time for us to share our thoughts. I am delighted to give a positive update about how enjoyable the conversations have all been. Although they were reluctant initially the Twins have become more involved and dare I say eager to share their thoughts and discuss the books along with the major theme and/or topic of the book choice. We began with reading "Unlocking the Truth", our discussion emphasized thinking outside the box and not allowing people to contain you to their limits. We then read Sharon Draper’s "Tears of a Tiger" this particular discussion focused on friendship and suicide. I believe that prevention is in talking about suicide to ensure that your teens don’t feel so isolated that the option to reach out isn’t contemplated.

The next selection was "A Long way Gone" by Ishmael Beah this book was tough due to the hardship that is being currently experienced in the Sub-African countries. The twins appeared to be quite sad about Ishmael’s journey and the loss he suffered. I must say as I consider all the books we’ve read this book stirred the most emotion. Unlike the other book, with this one I observed them reading together, sometimes taking turns to read out loud. I highly recommend the book if anyone is looking for something to read. I needed to be sure they read my high school favorite, by S.E. Hinton “The Outsiders”. The discussion focused on classism and stereotypes. I wanted to be sure they had a healthy comprehension and able to articulate their own thoughts. One aspect I cherish most about reading is being able to think about what I read, considering what I know about the content and formulating my own thoughts/perspective/assessment. I've notice from our first conversations up until now how they actually take the time to process what they've read, think about the questions and share their thoughts. They actually began to present questions and using examples from their life to explain or associate their reasoning.

So yesterday (9/5/17) after an hour and a half of some impressive conversation, I asked one of my favorite questions, “What character impacted you most and how do you identify with them?” Darrin Lee answered first, “Well I liked Scout the most, because she didn’t allow others to tell her how to feel about people or how she should be, she was an individual. I like being a twin but I like being me more. We do things different but I like being my own person” Then John answered, “I liked Tom Robinson the best, because he was a good man that loved and protected his family. He believed in being fair and I like treating people right.” What’s funny is that their character truly reflect the way they answered. John has always been the more caring of the two and Darrin Lee is the twin that will correct you should you call him by the wrong name or say “twin”. He’s also the one that asked me at a young age to stop dressing them alike. J When I inquired about which book out of all the books we’ve read, which book you enjoyed reading the most, and they both said in unison “The Outsiders”. They both stated they liked the “action” and the relationship between Darry, Sodapop and Ponyboy.

The idea to add summer reading for the Twins went so well, I decided to continue. Our conversations alone allow me an opportunity to connect with them about their views and how they feel about various topics and social issues. It’s a joy watching my sons use critical thinking skills and expand their minds. I want them to consider others, be empathetic, accept differences and hold firm to their own values/beliefs. Books allow so many paths to be explored that I dare not place limits on their potential. It’s a blessing to have the opportunity to encourage my sons to do more than just read but pick up a book to be enriched. There’s a quote that says “We lose ourselves in books but we find ourselves there too”.

Our next book selection is “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio, not sure what lead me to pick it but variety is good. I’m open to suggestions should you, yes you being the reader, want to share book selections. Thanks in advance and I appreciate your contribution to helping me to continue to parent enthusiastically.    

One Word Theme

Embrace the choices, changes and challenges in 2017. It’s that time of year again for me to reflect on what I accomplished and what needs to be improved upon going forward. It’s been three years now that I’ve incorporated the “one word” theme in my New Year short term goals. I can honestly say it’s something I’ve been able to maintain its fostered positive personal growth. I can attribute my ability to adjust to the proactive methods I’ve learned, and making sure to implement them as life happens. My desire is to continue using this mindset as I aspire to press forward, moving around the negativity as best I can and embrace what’s ahead. Monday, December 19^th the word “embrace” hit me as I prepared for work. I decided to share what came as a result of me taking some time to meditate on what my one word theme will mean in my life and how to translate embrace as I move forward in 2017.  

Choices~ Embrace MY choices. I learned the hard way that not everyone will understand nor approve of my life choices. The desire to have that approval is actually what use to keep me in a sad dark place for so many years. The fear of what people would say or do if I didn’t make their choice for my life. I am thankful for the day I removed that unnecessary weight off of me and began to make choices based on what makes me happy. A few years ago I read about an Australian nurse by the name of Bronnie Ware, she spent several years working with those who were dying and recorded their dying regrets. This is the number one regret she recorded: "This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it." What other people think of you doesn’t define Latrice, so I set myself free from their judgment. Stop being afraid of choosing to make YOU happy. I know that it’s difficult to choose you, especially if you habitually put others before you. I recall how I felt “selfish” and would subsequently back out of choosing what made me happy. I’ve since figured out it’s not selfish to actually live your life for you. Hell, I’m still trying to figure out why I allowed others who were not really a contributing factor to my well-being be a FACTOR in my life choices. In 2012 I resolved that I only owe consideration to my kids(to a degree) and myself. I haven’t regretted one decision I’ve made since choosing ME! In 2017 there are a few major choices on the horizon and I must persist in embracing the choices that advance me closer to my dreams.    

Changes~ Embracing change can be quite unsettling especially since there is a level of fear attached to the unknown. Let’s face it being drawn out of a space you've been in for many years is going to cause some uneasiness. I’m almost sure this is why they call it a "comfort zone". I know that changes will occur as a result of the choices we make or through not making a choice which in itself is actually a choice. It’s imperative to acknowledge and accept that in changes are challenges but in the midst of your challenges you always have a choice. I’ve discovered that change isn’t always uncomfortable and can be refreshing. “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy; not on fighting the old but building the new.” ~Socrates

Challenges~ There is truly only one path to become better at anything and it’s through experience and practice (mastering levels, stages or degrees). Positive and negative experiences alike. I’m not actively seeking out heartbreak, failure, illness, loneliness and loss. However when negative experiences surface unexpectedly I feel the need to learn from it and use it to my advantage the way I use the positive experiences for enrichment. In this period of my life improving the person I am is my central focus. I want to raise my children to understand that living a life that makes them happy without hurting others is the root of successful living. Their challenge won’t be in obtaining information but applying it. The application is the true work, right? I swear the minute you state what you will do and won’t do, a test prepared by fate will be administered by life to see if you are truly ready for the choices you make, the changes and challenges to come.

I’m going to embrace happiness because I realize that this is my choice, a choice I don’t plan to leave in the hands of others.   

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again." ~ Bronnie Ware

Live Free

My Sappy Perspective on Love....

I feel like writing about love today because he makes every inch of me smile with excitement and I swear it’s the scariest feeling ever. I’ve taken some time to assess why and all I can come up with is I don’t want it to end it’s just to richly sweet, exciting and fun. It feels like the feeling you get when you are in a room with your favorite people sharing a good laugh and everyone is truly enjoying the fun moment. It feels like that exciting rush you got when you were a kid and it was time to go to bed on Christmas eve that anticipation for what the morning would bring. {Of course this is before you were told Santa wasn’t real.} It feels like the warmth you get in your heart when a baby smiles at you and they don’t even know you but it’s still sweet and it makes your heart melts. I mean who doesn’t smile back at a smiling baby?  

In the beginning I found myself thinking about the difference in how I feel about him than I have in my past two relationships. The major difference being, how EASY it is to honestly communicate my feelings and actively listening to him share his feelings. I noticed how I will swiftly apologize if needed and accepting of constructive feedback. I want what we share to last but more importantly I want it to continue to grow stronger. II Corinthians 13:4-8 talks about what love is and I remember using it in a paper I wrote for an English class many years ago but it’s funny because now I really understand what love means, how it should translate into positive behavior not just feelings. For instances there is a part where it states “it keeps no record of wrongs” the few times an apology was needed in my current relationship are not reoccurring incidents. There is no desire to actively maintain a mental record of what happened, only enthusiastically reaching forward for what’s to come and leaving yesterday’s issue where it belongs. We acknowledge with acceptance that we are imperfect and we don't hold it against each other.

I love the smallest things he does for me the best and appreciate everything we do to maintain a healthy friendship in the midst of loving one another. It’s imperative that there is a good balance of quality time together, time shared with friends and loved ones as well as time alone. I like that we encourage each other to reach our goals and remain open to suggestions. The sight of him warms my body and every embrace we share is valuable in supporting our solid infrastructure. “When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change cause you’re amazing, just the way you are…” Sorry ya’ll I had a teenage moment, but you’ll have to give me a few more seconds to tell him;

Thank you Love, for being an impeccable man, sharing your heart, thoughts, feelings, perspectives, being honest, saying “I’m sorry” and meaning it, protecting me, wiping my tears away, kissing my forehead, supporting me, telling me I can, not causing me heartache, driving across town to put money in the meter so my car won’t get ticketed, holding my hand, opening the door, asking for my input, listening to my aspirations, loving me and offering me your last name….

Love is about cherishing every single moment you have with the person you say you love even in difficult moments. There isn’t a need to “force it” because its natural…. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Live Free and LOVE!

When an epiphany occurs....

About year and a half ago, I sat my daughters down to have a discussion. You see they’ve reached those possessed teenage years when the hormones are unstable and the attitude ranges from “I hate you and I really hate you”. Unfortunately for me the sweet days of watching one cry at the sight of the other one leaving morphed into the melodramatic “I wish you would just leave!” As a mom this was painful and exhausting to watch not to mention trying understand it often escaped or frustrated me. Our family discussions often assisted me as I practice being observant of the non-verbal displayed and actively listening to what was being said by both hostile teens. The older one of the two just wanted her space, have her own friends without being force to drag her kid sister around, well at least that’s what my assessment was. You know it’s easier to climb Mt Everest on the coldest day in swimwear than it is to get a teenager to openly discuss feelings to a parent while appearing vulnerable to siblings. I was also able to rely on my own experience as being an older sister.

During our discussion when my youngest daughter spoke about how much she missed her sister and she just wanted to be noticed in such sadness, I couldn’t help but think about my own younger sister. Then suddenly I didn’t see my youngest daughter crying with hurt feelings I saw my youngest sister crying. I didn’t just feel the pain as a mother but I felt the pain of my own mother. It was so odd but I decided to explore my thoughts and feelings later so that I could handle what was before me. I was careful to relax my speech so that I could comfort the youngest and try helping her understand what her sister was going through without making her feel disregarded. (Geesh talk about walking a tightrope)  I also had to make sure I wasn’t condemning to my oldest daughter because I did understand her desire but I also wanted her to tap into her sensitivity and compassion. It was quite the balancing act but during our resolution portion of the discussion I made sure we reviewed old pictures which triggered happier memories when they played together and it help them both to listen to each other, for understanding. The pictures helped to soothe them both and I admit me too.  

After assisting them in resolving their conflict, I decided to call my mother and my youngest sister. I felt the need to apologize for causing them both heartache. I saw for the very first time in my youngest daughter that my sister wanted to be “noticed” and shown some compassion. I identified the selfishness that I blindly cultivated at the expense of my sister's feelings much like my daughter was doing to her sister. Unfortunately for my sister and I, we didn’t have the guidance nor the knowledge on how to embrace and express our feelings. My mother comes from an upbringing where expressing how you feel wasn't really allowed, so feelings were often suppressed or masked as something other than what’s truly being felt. In its place anger was displayed instead of hurt, an attitude of disregard was being shown instead of sadness. My mother didn’t have the skill set to identify these defense mechanisms so there was no teaching or learning truly going forth to myself or my sister only a “band-aid” method. You know, where you just cover up the wounds without really treating the wound with Neosporin (knowledge) so there is no real healing until years later.(hopefully)   

The phone call with my sister lasted over 3 hours, I literally talked and listened to my baby sister for the first time in a really long time about our feelings, thoughts, ideas and past hurts. We were able to openly share how we truly felt for the first time, accepting what we did and didn’t do for each other. Being able to earnestly say “I’m Sorry” helped to truly apply the “Neosporin” to old wounds. Please understand that through the years we’ve supported each other like sisters are supposed to, we’ve gone on trips and spent holidays together; however there was always an underlying element not being addressed. In our three hour plus discussion I truly believed we were both able to release so much of it and embrace where we were in life continuously building and growing. Our strongest bond has always been our weakness for a good laugh we’ve never had problems being silly together, cracking jokes or enjoying a good laugh no matter what was going on in our lives. My sister is hilarious to me, she has the craziest laugh ever and I love how we’re able to talk about everything.

I love to witness strong genuine bonds between sisters that are based on more than blood ties. Bonds that are built in difficult times, cemented in loyalty, grow with encouragement and nurtured with respect and love. I believe that women who are not biologically related know how to cultivate a bond between each other by choice. It’s when you are related you have to learn how to like the person you are told and in some ways condition to love. This is why I appreciate my sister all the more NOW than I ever did before. We are friends and I treasure our friendship like I treasure our bond as sisters. She is on the brink of becoming a newlywed and to see her happily in love fills my heart with joy! It’s good to see people happy but it’s something about seeing someone you love and truly LIKE smile with happiness. She's her complete true self when she's with him and it's delightful to witness. I look forward to the days that my own daughters can truly appreciate each other and honestly like each other. I can see now why it meant so much to my own mother and why she usually has a ridiculous smile on her face when she watches us be silly together. I'm sure we'll have an awesome time together as we celebrate her nuptials adding to the wonderful memories and pictures we have.....this is one of my favorite pictures of us because it embodies how we are when we are together. It also depicts how I want us to be until the end of our days…..

 

Note: That’s our BIG sis with us, she’s a most ADORED part of our lives and is usually among our shenanigans and great time together. (HUGS to my Sister-friend Leslie for capturing one of our many great LAUGHS together)       

Saying NO!!

I’m sitting here typing out my talking points for the support group I facilitate. I remember when I first started, I was sure to really just observe initially taking the time to listen actively to the stories being shared the non-verbal expressed and the words not said. Due to my desire to help those who are hurting my first instinct was to encourage but I needed to be a student before I could help as a “teacher”.  I began to create topical handouts that were created from the stories shared my hope has always been to empower them to trust again, love again, try again and believe in themselves to go Live!

 I often share with my Guy my thoughts and ideas and he gives great feedback and impeccable insight so in reference to this particular handout he stated “…..it encompasses ways on self-empowerment”, my heart smiled because that’s exactly what I want it to do. Empowering yourself goes further than we realize it’s unfortunate we don’t get to see just how much we miss out on when turning a blind eye to the many positive aspects that surround us due to being consumed by the negatives or traumatic experiences. I remember the days, weeks, months, years I sat and nursed all my woes (problems, attitudes, missed opportunities) along with those who would join me and help feed the negativity or bring their own woes. I fed guilt, regret, anger, sadness and a broken heart like they were my children.

There is this one quote that states “give yourself the permission to say NO to anything that makes you unhappy and drains your energy!” It’s not difficult for me to say no to others however during that time I found it somehow difficult to say NO to myself and allowed myself to get mad and stay mad, choose to hold grudges or be angry to the point of ruining multiple days. I embraced sadness and lived in regret allowing those feelings to consume my thoughts, my actions and/or behavior. It took time, truthful self-evaluating and change to get me to a point to alter the way I think and allow into my heart & mind.

My handout for tonight’s session is simply titled “Saying NO!” I wanted to share because it’s like my Guy said self-empowering! Now typically I go through a “spill” prior to giving the handouts, then we discuss by personalizing the topic which creates an atmosphere of openness and supporting each other. So a few discussion points on encouraging you to saying NO to you or any life circumstances that may try stopping you from reaching your place of living Free and Happy!

¨  Negative Thoughts: If there is one thing I’ve learned studying God’s word, psychology and multiple counseling theories it’s that your mind is your sacred space and to lose it would be detrimental. What do you typically think about?  Do you focus on how far you’ve come, or how far you have to go?  Do you place emphasis on your strengths or your weaknesses? Do you contemplate the best that could happen or the worst that might come to be? You can close the windows to your mind and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in it’s always your choice. Pay attention to your self-talk because a lot of what you say to yourself determines how you feel and conduct yourself. Say NO to negative thinking.

¨  Settling: Don’t settle for less than your worth! Being able to start or create something better in your life you have to be motivated! Moving yourself from a place of being stagnant will involve you placing distance between yourself and non-progressive relationships/situations to see things clearly.  Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits or friends and finding new things/hobbies that truly inspire the maturing you! Look within and explore what gets you so excited you can’t wait to go get it, that’s what life is all about.  Say NO to settling.

¨  Outside Negative Influence If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself and stick up for yourself, you become vulnerable to the manipulation, mistreatment and misuse by others.  You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you by staying. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, to protect and respect your sacred inner space, say NO to outside negativity.

¨  Unhealthy Relationships: This isn’t just for romantic involvement it’s any relationship you have that may be toxic! Choose your relationships wisely being alone will never cause as much loneliness or heartache as the negative relationships. Iron sharpens iron, be among those who will help to make you better, correct you when you are wrong and encourage you during weak moments. Leaving the wrong relationship has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength!  Say NO to unhealthy relationships

¨  Holding on to mistakes and regret: If you're thinking at all about uncluttering your life and cleaning up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and unforgiveness. Let me quote Erykah Badu “Bag lady you gone hurt your back….dragging all them bags like that…I guess nobody ever told you…All you must hold onto, is YOU, so pack light!” You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one. Take the necessary steps to find ways to live through what’s happen because you owe it to yourself to be free of any shame or regret. Say NO to regret!

“Saying yes when you need to say no, you cripple the most important relationship in your life: the relationship between you and you.” ~Nea Joy

BE Strong and Live Free

....with Humility comes Wisdom

I was discussing humility with a friend last week it was quite a thought provoking conversation, so much so I found myself reviewing our discussion and being inspired to write down my assessment. Of course this also made me go into this desire for information overload.  I wanted to research and read articles on humility until my eyes begged for mercy. However, lucky for my fingers and eyes I’ve been way too busy to spend the time to research, read and then compose how I feel. So I’m “shooting from the hip” on this one.

I want to begin with a quote I have on my desk about humility, then express my personal interpretation of what humility looks like to me and share some of the statements made in the conversation that inspired it all. I must forewarn you that I’m running on fumes so if I began to ramble blame it on the alcohol I wish I was drinking right now. I’ve been working excessively for the last week and I’m starting to feel it!

 I want to share my views on humility and how I have often observed the way an excessive amount of pride will cause a person to miss the lesson life is attempting to teach. One of the comments I made during my discussion about humility is “I’ve learned how to humble myself through my adversities because what I figured out is when I don’t it tends to happen again. I watch others go through difficult situations come out with minimum repercussions or by the skin of their teeth and not have an ounce of humility from what they’ve been through”.  I stated this because internally I wanted to know why some people don’t humble themselves after difficulties. But, I swiftly decided to focus on why I now do. Maybe just maybe by doing that something else will reveal itself to me and help me show humility consistently.  

The first quote I have to share is one that I’ve had on my desk for about 8 years or more, it’s a quote by Ezra Taft Benson, who I believe was Christian of the LDS faith. He states “Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right”. I believe I retrieved the quote from a picture frame that was used as a centerpiece at a women’s retreat I attended some many years ago. I remember thinking while sitting at the table how I didn’t want to be so prideful that I would not be effective in ministry work. During the retreat, I was given the frame and I placed it on my desk and referred to the quote when conflict appeared in my life. The quote helped me to take self out and concentrate on what would be the best course of action as it relates to the Word of God. Of course, this would usually cause inner struggle between my flesh and spirit. I’m honest enough to admit that my flesh would win from time to time because of the person I was dealing with at the time. However the process of taking the time out to think about “being more concerned for what’s right than just being right” began to become second nature, compelling me to follow the path of doing what’s right.

We don’t often see ourselves as prideful; I mean how many times have you heard someone state “Hey I’m just too prideful to admit I’m wrong!”?  Being too prideful will take you to a place of justifying, blaming and losing sight of the message. How many times have you been able just to take full ownership of something that didn’t turn out right due to your choices? Did you say “I was wrong.”?  I mean just really took ownership with no excuses coupled only with a sincerely remorseful heart. You see, that’s part of what I think humility is! It is a masterful balance between thinking less of self, your feelings or how this will make you look to others and yet empowering yourself. Humility allows you to enrich your inner strength with wisdom that many desire to have but haven’t acquired. It’s being able to see that others are just as important as you are no matter your status in life.  It understands that I have to truly embrace that I don’t know everything and still could be taught valuable life lessons at any age by someone younger, older, richer, poorer and less educated or from a different culture.  

My new outlook on humility is due to a combination of things such as; a difficult period in my life, higher education, opening up my mind to listen to others and wanting those around me to experience happiness. Ok let me close, because I will ramble. :) I must end with Mr. Chronicle of Narnia himself, C.S. Lewis, who states that “true humility is not thinking less of yourself it’s thinking of yourself less.” Humbling yourself doesn’t make you the weaker vessel it actually strengthens the vessel that you are in. ~LatriceRenee

Be Strong! Live Free!!  

Aspire

….in 2014 I was challenge by a friend on a self-improvement “crusade” of her own to give the 2014 year a theme word that would encourage me, inspire me or keep me positive.  Due to the fact I could only use one word, I had to give it some thought. I decided to use the time to review where I’ve been, where I was going and my goals I decided on the word ”Continue". This was mostly determined by the path I had begun the year prior. I was determined to let myself live freely and without the chains that I permitted so many people to place on me. I spent the 2014 year operating in what it meant to literally proceed ahead. I learned what it truly meant to experience "reason, season, lifetime" in people, places and time. Therefore I “continue” to commit myself to learning, accepting change, embracing new perspectives and healing silently.

In 2015 I found out what the “My One Word” movement was about and it solidified my adoration for the concept of using one word to challenge you into action. You see I was never one for resolutions but I will set goals and plan the strategy to achieve them. About a month prior to 2015 I gravitated to the phrase being stated by those of the generation Y era which is “move around”. The phrase means literally what it states and is used when someone is involved in something that has absolutely nothing to do with them or their life. I live in a small city, for the time being, so of course the phrase was instantly a hit with me and making sure people knew to do if they didn't like me or my choices I made for MY life. I was kind of asserting my new choices a lot more aggressively than I should have so by 2015 I was directed to "Move around" by God! I had learned that just like others can't alter the wonderful events happening in my life I can't make them accept it! I ran across a quote by Aldous Huxley, when I was looking for a new email signature and it confirmed so much of what I had started to embrace. I make sure I focus because I now know..."there is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self".

Instead of just the one word theme for the year in 2015 I took on two, “Moving Around". Yeah I know, here I am making changes already with just a year in. Well I decided to make a conscious choice to move around negativity and remove myself from situations that weren’t beneficial. You know the kind you can see won’t end well if you don’t just take the high road. Nurturing this mindset afforded me the opportunity to learn the value of not taking everything personally, actively listening, incorporating alternative perspectives prior to making a decision or judgment. It also revealed to me that allowing someone else their feelings doesn't make them right and me wrong. "Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance" I now embrace the fact that everything said doesn’t need a response and taking a moment to pause gave way to the opportunity to be empowered or enlighten. I actually unlearned some ways of thinking as I placed one foot in front of the other to move around certain situations and/or people that were neither worth the time nor the stress.

 I wrote a note on my facebook page for “My One Word” movement, here is a portion of what I stated; “As we embark on another year’s journey like any year I look forward to the endless possibilities 2016 has to offer even though I know that pitfalls, snares and stumbling blocks are being formed. I've decided in 2016 I shall ASPIRE to be great despite of all of it! I will aspire to utilize what I've learned to first alter my own biases. I will aspire to step out further in Faith. I will aspire to be better each day even when I fail, so not to allow the fear of failure to cripple my progress. I will aspire to love in the face of hate. I will aspire to seek a calm center in the midst of anger. I will aspire to be honest about how I feel instead of being dishonest which only causes resentment. I will aspire to allow myself weak moments so that I can be Strong (have to read 2 Corinthians 12 to catch that one). I will aspire to continue to live a life that pleases God, protects my children and makes me Happy! #AspireToInspire”

It’s been almost three months and I decided to “check in” my progress on the word I choose. I sort of wished I had picked the word “aspire” first but I understand that there is a process to this journey in acquiring knowledge, applying what you’ve learned and maturing. I’ve had to jump off quite a few cliffs of the unknown thus far, pushing me further out of my comfort zone. It's actually helped me accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself. I’ve been provoked by a few spirits of negativity and envy, there are some who don’t think I deserve to move higher in life. It’s unfortunate that some people actually believe they have a say in another person’s good fortune or they can hinder what's already been established. I can’t really say I’ve mastered the whole “I will aspire to love in the face of hate” with flying colors but I have been able to hold my tongue in the physical and speak to my God spiritually.  I hope one day I will have the perfect response that will allow me to inspire someone else to rise above engaging in petty arguments or irrelevant confrontations.

 I was offered a position to facilitate a sexual assault support group a month and a half ago. I accepted the position for a couple of reasons and one of those reasons being that it presented me with the opportunity for the whole 2016 year in aspiring to inspire others that seek a way to improve the way they are living life. I want to assist them in conquering the fear that has hindered them from trusting, forgiving, accepting happiness, living freely and unapologetically. I’m learning from them just as much as I’m encouraging them to apply the life skills I present weekly. 

 

By the end of the year I will have to recap the next nine months and I’m praying that I will have maintained or surpassed what I’m aspiring to do. It’s not as easy staying true to the things I’ve stated as it was to write them down J but my heart is in it because I know this will help more than just me, so I’m determined to continue moving around as I seek to aspire!