"When you write the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen", this most definitely includes boundaries. I recently did a short series on stressing the importance of boundaries, diving into identifying what healthy boundaries look like, types of boundaries and defining boundaries. Another focus was to recognize how abandoning self, displays a lack of boundaries in our lives. For instance, avoiding uncomfortable situations, absence of self-care rituals or the inability to say "no". Our goal should be doing what's necessary for us to maintain positive energy within ourselves through the lines we draw. So who's drawing your lines? Family? Friends? Social media? Peer pressure? Take a moment to think about what is motivating your actions, this will assist you in validating that your motives are indeed, yours!
What I found personally helpful is making sure I communicate my thoughts and feelings clearly as it relates to my boundaries. Stating my boundaries helps me professionally and personally, because it removes assumptions. Take a moment to think about the last time you assumed someone knew your boundaries and they didn't, how did that work out? We do ourselves and loved ones a disservice when we don't clearly identify boundaries. This does not have to be a difficult conversation, if we respect each other enough to listen. I've stated before how important to me being "heard" is, because for many years I allowed someone to take my voice away. This has now become a boundary for me, I need to be heard because I will take the time to listen. I no longer expect others to know, I am sure to state it prior to beginning a conversation if the person is unfamiliar. I draw my own lines.
It is important that we feel equal and understand that your voice matters, so draw the line. Asking for what you want, such as negotiating your salary, draw the line. Understanding that your happiness is your responsibility so draw the line! Being comfortable with saying no and placing yourself first, draw the line. Healthy boundaries are extremely important and key to maintaining the proper self-care. Drawing the lines in your life is solely your responsibility and so is who you allow to hold the pen.
Be Strong & Live Free!!
Article on setting boundaries: