“Who are you going to blame your life on today?”

“Who are you going to blame your life on today?” This question was presented by a woman to herself during a tumultuous period in her life. A time in her life when she didn’t own up to the choices she had made that lead her to despair. In a podcast the woman was on, she describe how during that turbulent time she desired major life changes however she didn’t want any disruptions, suffer any possible consequences nor give up any current comforts. Listening to her speak, I reflected on my own life and wondered if I had ever been so ridiculously conflicted about taking ownership while desiring change. To be honest I did recall the time when I too lacked – personal accountability. I remembered when I blamed someone else for where my life was, until I realized how stagnant it made me mentally and physically. 

“Being willing to answer….for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behavior and actions.” – Todd Herman. Personal accountability is a consistent commitment to yourself to consciously take ownership and responsibility for the direction of your life. I understand that bad things happen however your response to situations and/or misfortune is often the deciding factor for the path you are now on. I know that accepting personal accountability in all areas of one’s life can be a difficult task if you lack self-awareness. Self-awareness assist in holding yourself accountable for your decisions and actions. It builds character and enriches your personality. I know I can attest to how I feel better allowing myself to accept that it’s ok to make a mistake as long as you self-correct.  

“There is growth in your character helps to withstand all that you’ve been through when you assume accountability” – Dr. Leroy E. Adams Jr. I had to write this comment down my fiancé offered in a discussion we were having on the topic of personal accountability. Breaking habits and reconditioning yourself can be a complex process due to how complacent we become in our practiced behavior. If it is brought to my attention that I offended someone, I like to consider their point of view. On my self-improvement journey I’ve learned to accept the negative impact my actions can cause even if I had good intentions. A healthy form of communication helps to alleviate misconceptions and resolve potential problems. Why does this process become such a daunting task to some? Because it means you have to assume accountability, what your actions were and most importantly admit what you could have done better. Your growth can only be hindered if you refuse to acknowledge there is a need to grow. 

So tell me who are you going to blame your life on today? Who’s at fault for you choosing to lose sight of your peace, contentment or joy? “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become character. Watch your character for it becomes your destiny” – Lao Tzu. We know that with our words we can motivate ourselves to do incredible things or we can discourage our own progression. Our words can create intimacy or separation. With our words we can motivate ourselves to do things we never thought we could do or bury us alive. How much has your pattern of thinking allowed you to succeed or be unsuccessful? 

Remember you become what you think, so it is your responsibility to assume ownership of your thoughts and actions. The energy you use to blame others for where you are in life can also be used to figure out a solution to change where you are in life. Remaining idle in a negative space is a choice you make either consciously or sub-consciously. Develop the capacity to be objective about yourself and become self-aware. The woman in the podcast shared how she empowered herself by saying “Your life isn’t someone else’s fault, your life is what you decide to make it, from this point”. The details of her story I didn’t feel were necessary because the essence of what she was saying is universal. We must be mindful in taking personal accountability for our own lives and stop blaming. Your growth is in the lesson of the misfortune so don't give up your power to grow by blaming others. Whatever has happen.....happened, get up from it and move forward! 

Be Courageous & Live Free.

Life Lesson on Overcoming Self-doubt

Today for Monday Motivation, I wanted to repost my reflection on an assignment I completed four years ago. The lesson I learned about myself and overcoming self-doubt were valuable and timeless, so I thought I’d repost the story:

“In my Interpersonal Relationship class I had to do a presentation on resolving conflicts. We were given two nights to present on the first night there was a guy in class who did an amazing job on his verbal and nonverbal communication presentation using an interactive PowerPoint with the audience. Instantly I could sense my overly competitive nature wanting and “needing” to do a better job. I decided to scrap the idea I had initially and come up with something better for the following week my presentation was due. After a few days of brainstorming I came up with the grand idea to do a puppet show. I had previously been nervous with thinking out of the box however settled on doing my presentation via a skit I would write and to be “acted” out by sock puppets, I’d make! Unfortunately, as the time drew nigh I became overwhelmed with fear that I was near tears thinking the presentation would not be received well. I began to believe I would fail. However, I did it anyway, I presented “Pat&Ollie Resolving Interpersonal Conflict” and to my pleasant surprise the show went over extremely well with everyone. I also received extra points for the most creative presentation! *victory dance* I’m sharing because I was nervous and unsure of myself and I almost held myself back from at least trying due to fear. What I learned in that moment of accomplishment was I know sometimes we defeat ourselves before we even take the first step. We create the failure through quitting. My take away is when trying something NEW embrace the fear but do it anyway! It’s ok to be afraid just don’t let it hinder you from thinking outside the box or going after being your best self. #YouAreStrongerthanYouKnow”

I hope today you decide to go after whatever it is you’ve allowed fear to stop you from doing. Time is fleeting if you wait too long……it’ll be gone.  

Live Free!! Be Courageous...