Friday, October 14, 2016

Make a Conscious Effort!

I had a conversation with my kid the other day, and by kid I mean 23 years old, one of the things I’m loving about our relationship is how it’s evolving. I know that the dynamics of our relationship have changed due to us both understanding that we had to let go of our former responsibilities as mother and daughter to embrace our new responsibilities. I would really love to get into my thoughts on the transitions necessary for parents to make so that their children can become successful as an adult. Perhaps I will write about that in the next blog, I pray it doesn’t take months for me to do. Unfortunately my life has been pretty hectic leaving no down time for me to release.
Back to the conversation I had with my kid yesterday about maturing, processing past pain and discovering your place in life. I sensed she was harboring some negative energy in the form of blame toward an individual. I shared with her that if she allowed herself to be consumed by blaming someone else for where she presently is in her life she will always be where she is at this moment. My exact statement was “Instead of recycling that negative energy channel that energy into accepting where you are. Identify what about your life that you don’t like, recognize what changes need to be made and focus on implementing them.” I believe that it is essential that she understands that if she does nothing she will always be stagnant.
I realize how absolutely easy it is to blame someone else for what has happen in your life, if they are truly at fault. I also understand complex it can be to move on when you feel like you’ve been mistreated. I personally know how much initial effort and readjusting one has to incorporate into their day-to-day to establish a new attitude or fresh perspective on life. I mean I completely “get it”! {Ya’ll did read the name I titled my blog page right? I didn’t come up with it because it’s catchy. Ok maybe that was part of it, however my point is I’m sharing the advice I am living.} The feelings of despair, isolation and being uncertain are not strangers to me. I refer to really difficult life experience as “climbing out of a pit”, think about just how damn difficult it would be to climb out of a pit. I mean no rope to make it easier, it’s dark and scary. The only way you will survive to embrace sunshine is to put in the necessary work to get out. It can be overwhelming just thinking about it but I challenge you, like I do her to disconnect from that comfort you’ve found in your pain.  

I have this saying I use, mostly when I’m in wonderfully stimulating conversation with my Guy, “Don’t Feed the Monster!” When discussing why a person can’t progress think about what they nurture. What we pay attention to grows, so instead of “feeding” what we don’t want in our lives, starve it by focusing on what you do want! How will you get it? Figure out the logistics, write down a strategy be active in where you want to go. This is what I meant about channeling your energy into being productive for you. Become consumed with being in a better place for you! We know that life is full of choices and we can dwell on what has already happened or we can learn from it. Treating harsh experiences like an old book, by placing it back on the shelf and moving on to life’s next adventure.
You have to be your strongest advocate of pressing through adversities and creating a positive happy center for self. Learning to let things and people go so that you can grow won't be easy but it will be worth it. I can testify to that! My 23 year old kid has always had a beautiful caring spirit so its tough observing her learn the lessons only life can teach her. I trust that GOD will continue to do an excellent job of keeping her covered with His grace and mercy. I will give her all that I have but she knows that she must also put in work! I can only take her so far she has to go the rest of the way with Him. She’s becoming more of a beautiful woman inside and out with every discussion and experience. I couldn’t have asked for a better kid than this brown eyed Beauty. Be Strong and Live FREE my darling Pooh!

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